Thursday, September 30, 2010

Happy 4th Birthday Jacob!!

         I went into labor on a Friday morning. That night I told hubby we needed to go to the hospital. When I got there the nurses told me that my water had broken, but the problem was, we had no idea when it happen. I was in labor for well over 24 hours. ( the rest of my kids it was only 6 hours) When he finally made his debut I knew something was wrong. He barely cried. After they put him on my belly they took him from me to weigh him and check him out. I knew something was wrong, but no one was saying anything. Then the nurses finally told me that he was breathing to hard and that he was acting very lethargic. He ended up in the NICU for 5 days. It was the hardest five days of my life. To not know, as a mother what your baby sounds like when he cries is just devastating. He had four holes in his heart, low blood sugar, his breathing was to fast and his heart was beating to many beats per minute. We would not let anyone come to the hospital. I just couldn't, they all came to see a baby that I couldn't show them. We did have the pastor come and pray over him though (thank you Alan) I had two friends that didn't listen and came anyway to pray with me.(Thank you Suzanne and Tracie) I cried myself to sleep that first night. Jon layed in that little delivery bed holding me so tight and he just kept praying over and over til we fell asleep. I honestly felt like the Lord was there with us.  Jacob still did not want to eat. He was just out of it. His feet were black from them taking his blood every hour.
This is when they told me he would have to go to the NICU

This was in the NICU

When we were finally able to take him home I had to take him to a cardiac specialist twice a month. I was told that he would have to have heart surgery before he turned one.BUT When Jacob was 4 months old. I went to the cardiac doctor and they ran the usual tests, but this time it was different. He was completely healed. The doctor came in the room and said (and I quote) "It's like nothing was every wrong with him." Thank You Jesus for healing my son, I know that it was you who put your hand over his tiny heart and healed him.

Elijah loved having a brother.
     When Jacob was 18 months old we found out that he was malnourished.( I will spare you the details on how we found out) His body was not absorbing the foods that he was eating. We had to go to a specialist and run all sorts of not so fun test. They have what you could call a check list for possible cystic fibrosis and they were sure he had it. We had to go to all children's to do numerous test and then we had to do more blood work. He didn't care about any of it. He was only allowed to have pediasure and we had to fatten all his drinks and food with a powder that causes people to gain weight. If you would have seen how much he had you would of thought he would turn obese. He was on it for over 5 months and  gained a pound. After about eight months of stress and not knowing what was wrong with him, everything started to just get better. He did not have cystic fibrosis and all of a sudden his body was acting right again. Our pediatrician said and I quote "It was like nothing was ever wrong with him." Thank you Jesus!

    So even though we will be paying his medical bills til we die, we are so very thankful that the Lord has been taking care of our sweet Jacob.

     Jacob is a cutie pie and he knows it. He is an amazing dancer, and loves music. He will do anything to make you laugh and I. mean. anything! He likes to embarrass his momma sometimes.Most people don't really get to see the real him, but when you do, you will be hooked.  Jacob is truly a kid so full of life. He tells me all the time that he will become a man, but I am still allowed to call him my baby <3

I am excited to see what the Lord does with him. I can tell you that it is going to be something off the wall and crazy, because other wise it would not fit him. Jacob loves the Lord, but even if he never said it, God has all ready shown me that he has him taken care of.

       I learned through my experience with Jacob that I need to give my kids over to Jesus. So I did, shortly after he was born. I remember the Lord telling me that it's okay, He loves them more then I ever will. I believe He does and I also believe all of my babies now and future ones are going to do great things for His kingdom.

Thank you Jesus for allowing me to be his mom <3

                                              Happy Birthday my precious boy!


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Gentle Whispers

     I have been so busy lately and hubby has been working his sexy butt off that I have not even had time to just breathe. With homeschooling, co-op, BSF, community group, Children's ministry,being a wife, meeting friends to pray with them, church, so many other things, that I am just spent. As I have been doing my best to spend time with the Lord lately, I have heard Him loud and clear. A little to loud! He has revealed somethings to me that I quite frankly didn't want to know. It's so painful isn't it? But then how can you not praise Him for loving you enough to sit you down and have a heart to heart with you. He really loves us! So as I am praying through my brokenness, the Lord has also shown me that though I am doing things for His kingdom I also need to just have time to sit in the quietness of the Lord. To really allow Him to speak to me.  Oh, I miss it, I am craving it. Yes, I am spending time with Him, but I mean those very intimate quiet, where it is just Him and I  in this whole world type quality time. Besides what good am I to the people around me if I am spiritually depleted!?!

"Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a gentle whisper."

    So my prayer for you (and me as well) is that you will take the time out of your crazy busy day and not just listen to the Lord, but to sit quietly and wait for what He is trying to tell you. I believe He is speaking in a whisper, because it means we have to actually make an attempt to hear Him, to make an effort to be alone, to make an effort to quiet our hearts and minds and allow ourselves to be broken before Him and listen to His gentle whispers and what He wants to reveal to us.

     Are you listening to His voice or the voice of your busyness?  Sit with Him and find out.


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Happy 6th Birthday Brianna

Today is my daughters 6th birthday. I remember when I was pregnant with her, I was so scared to have a girl. I was worried she would turn out like me. She did! LOL but God also gave her a uniqueness all her own. Brianna means "Strong One" We should have known what we were getting into :D

Daddy never had a chance, he was marked as soon as she arrived:)

Our Princess was here and we would never be the same
Her arrival meant that Elijah would be a big brother. A job he has been thankful for every since.

She is a lot like her daddy when it comes to food. She has a huge sweet tooth. She ate her whole birthday cake when she was one.

Out of all my kids, Brianna and I butt heads the most. But I also learn so much from her. I can see myself through her eyes. It's scary at times and at times it's amazing. Brianna excepted Jesus in her heart a little over a month ago. It was all the Lord's doing. She came up to us and said she needed to pray. All of us got around her bed and she told Jesus that she loves Him more than anything and she wants to live her life for him.We had no idea what she was going to say and it was beautiful. She had tears in her eyes and I know with all my heart that she loves the Lord and is going to do incredible things for Him. Her prayers every night floor me. Such beautiful heart felt words from such a little girl.

Did I mention that we are a lot alike?

But she will always be my princess.
Every year since her birth daddy gets his girls flowers. Brianna gets sunflowers. She looks forward to them every year. I love that they have a special thing for just them. Praying for her future husband to treat her with the same love and respect that her daddy gives her.
My 6 year old

Happy Birthday Precious Brianna. I am honored to be your mother. Even though I hate that you are growing up,I am grateful to be able to help guide you through it all. Praying that the Lord will continue to rule your heart. I love you my sweet girl.


Thursday, September 16, 2010

Whose story?

    Once a week my hubby teaches a community group and we are all going through a book called Gospel Transformation. The main topic that we always talk about is that this life is God's story, not ours. Sometimes I have to really think about whose story I am living.
    Today I FINALLY was able to mail in my dossier to get authenticated. Yesterday I just broke down and cried in frustration at trying to get a hold of a women who notarized one of my documents but never signed her name. Today I was able to find her and I dropped everything, grabbed my four kids and we drove over an hour a way and passed 3 tolls (ridiculous) just to see this women for 10 seconds to sign my paper. Then I went to FedEx to send it out. It was a very exciting moment, but also scary. They better not lose those papers :)

    On the way home from driving everywhere I was thinking about how this adoption is not my story or our new son's, but Gods. Then I wondered if I was truly living out His story in all areas of my life.
     Think about the way you would feel if one of your babies grew up not living for the Lord. Wouldn't you pray and plead and be on your knees every single day asking God to grab a hold of their hearts? I know I would. I pray for them  everyday now. Shouldn't we feel that same urgency with the people around us that don't know Him? Shouldn't we be begging on our knees every night asking God to grab a hold of our neighbors hearts or or co-workers or our friend, parents. Etc. Shouldn't we have the same pain for others that are lost? Do you? Are you doing all you can to really reach those around you or are you just concerned about your kids?
   I home school and I really enjoy sharing Jesus with my kids. What about your church and the kids there? Do you volunteer in the children's ministry to love on these kids or is it someone else's job since you are all ready busy with your own? Or you just really need a break?
     I dropped everything today, messed up our whole routine, kids were being horrible just so I could get a very important paper signed. Would I do that if a friend needed me? You bet! How about someone I just met? How about someone I didn't really get along with?
    There is so much more I could write. What kind of life am I living? God's or mine with Him sprinkled in there somewhere?  Jesus says you can't serve two masters, you either serve Him or you don't. Plain and simple. There are so many opportunity's that we have to serve Him, to share His love, to share the gospel. Are you? What about at a grocery store? or the gym? or the park? Do you go a whole day and not mention his name once to someone you don't know? How many people pass by us in a day who are lost, who desperately need a Savior and we could show them the way, but we are to consumed with living our own lives. Living our story instead of God's.
   I don't want to live my life. Nothing good will every come from it. I want to be and live God's story. I don't want to just read the bible, I want to live it and share it. I want to ache so baldy for the people around me who don't know Him just as I would with my own family. I want to look for opportunity's to share His love and not hurry through whatever I am doing. I want to be a part of God's story and to help further His kingdom. I don't want to live my life that leads to death, I want to live His life that leads to life. Following, repenting, abiding, worshiping, seeking, telling others about Christ.
   Are we all trying to recreate a place where we believe God will be or are we blooming where we are planted? Are we really truly giving God our all or do we give Him just enough that it won't hurt? Are we giving til it hurts? Our time?, our money? and trusting that God will replenish it or are we giving just enough?
     And those days that we fail, (there will be many of them) we can take comfort in knowing that God's love never fails and His mercies are new every morning. Thank you Jesus!

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes."Romans1:16


      For some reason I was unable to load the video, but click on this song by Matthew West.
Matthew West- my own little world

Friday, September 10, 2010

New season...

       I was telling someone the other day how I feel like my family and I  have started a new book in our lives. The funny things is, that it happened so fast I didn't even realize we were done with the last book. (horrible analogy, but you get my drift.) So as this new season or whatever you want to call has begun I am reminded about how grateful I am that the Lord directs our steps. Who knows where we would be if I took over.;)

    My husband is a police officer and for the first time since we have been together (10 years) he is now working days. The Lord really pressed it on his heart to leave his "fun" community policing team and go back into the bid shifts ( soooo not a fun place to be, you can put down what you want to work, but may not get it.) In a way it was a step down, we lost a lot of money that we really couldn't afford to lose. BUT God really laid it on his heart and hubby knew that by switching his schedule ( I have been begging him to do it for years) He would have more time to be with the family and to also serve our church better ( he is an elder). What a great  man of God. Money isn't everything folks.

    Our schooling so far this year has been great! I am so thankful that the Lord has been by my side and has guided me with how I should schedule everything. This is the first year that I have had to really make a lesson plan and figure everything out, even the fun outings. What an honor it is to be able to teach my babies about the Lord all day long. There are still somethings I need to change, but we are getting there.  Included in our school this year, God has graciously provided a way for my kiddos to go to Co-op once a week. I am a teachers aide in the kindergarten room while my kiddos are off with other classes. They love it and so do I. My daughter is in a first grade class and they are learning about children all over the world who don't have anything. They are going to be sending photos and toys to these other kids in need. I LOVE it! Someone is reiterating what we are all ready doing at home. How great is our God! I am so excited for all that God has planned.

Here is a picture of their first day at co-op. Seriously they are the cutest kids ever!



Wednesday, September 1, 2010


My heart is over flowing with God's goodness.

                            "Yours, O Lord is greatness and the power and the glory and the victory, and the majesty for all that is in the heavens and the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and give your strength to all. And now we thank you, our God and praise your glorious name." 1Chronicles29:11-13
    We were having a rough couple of weeks, we spent a lot of time in prayer, trying our best to give things to the Lord, trying to rely on Him and then out of nowhere God wanted to send us some love and encouragement.......

   On Sunday I got a phone call from a dear friend that I unfortunately haven't even spoken to in a really long time. She told me to go check my mailbox. We received a note, Africa silly bands, and money towards our adoption. What a blessing!!!! That selfless donation (just like all of them) brought us a lot closer to being able to send in our paper work.The words "Thank you" are just not enough. Then just when I thought God was through blessings us, our door bell rang on Tuesday.

         I was excited to see who it was, because I love this family very much and have not seen them in over a year. At first I thought they were just stopping by, but they had more for us. Let me first explain something that I just really don't want anyone to miss. This couple was out of town all summer, they still tithed, but kept it to the side until God told them where it should go. That in itself is amazing. Tithing money that they need, and they didn't even know where it was going to go, but they faithfully did it anyway. Just let it sit there. Then at some point ( I have no idea when ) God told them where to give it. They wrote us a check for our son.........(Thank you Jesus)...... We are now able to submit our dossier. It is truly incredible, I couldnt stop shaking for joy and tears were streaming down my face, I just couldn't believe what God, through wonderful  people, had just did within the last two days. He is truly faithful and funds what He favors. I have seen God do amazing things for other adoptions and He has done so many incredible things for ours as well. I feel so blessed that now I have stories that I can share with others that will bring Him glory. Again the words "Thank you" are just not enough.

      All of you that have donated, or bought shirts or jewelry and all if you that have prayed. You have truly blessed my heart. Such a selfless thing to do and I am truly undeserving of it all, but will forever be grateful. I know that we are not done with our adoption and fund raising, but this humble girl feels a HUGE burden lifted off and I finally feel like this is real, this is going to happen, we are actually going to get our baby boy. **tears**

      As you can see by  the thermometer, we are a little over what we need WOO HOO!! That extra money will go towards our referral fee of being able to say YES! to our son when we get it, but right now I just want to leave it and I just want to focus on being a waiting family and swimming in God's abundant grace and love. As soon as our paper work reaches Ethiopia and we are on the list I will let every know what number we are. :D

    Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for listening to the Lord, for giving out of your poverty, and trusting Him. Thank you Jesus for calling us to this humbling place of adopting, fund raising, and relying on you in ways we would have never dream. THANK YOU <3

                        To God be the Glory!