Let me explain.
Years ago, God put it on our hearts that we would be serving in another country, We have been to the airport a million times to send people off and for us God says "No, not your time."
With our last couple of pregnancies, God said "No, not your time."
With this adoption. He has many times said no. If we would have asked for a girl, we would all ready have had our referral a month ago, but God said "No, I have a boy picked out for you."
Then over the last month we have been fighting with all that we had and then some for a precious boy who is on the waiting list, meaning he is just sitting there for a family. God is the one the drew us to this almost 4 year old. God is the one that said fight for him and yet in the end we were met with more No's then I can count. Ultimately it was not His will.
Our hearts have been opened for whatever God wants. Older, younger, domestic, Africa, yet God just keeps saying "wait, I have the boy for you."
I know that everything that we go through is for our transformation. I know that one day we will finally hear those words that we have been longing to hear.
But this waiting has been hard. Well over a year on this journey to our boy and it is hard. The waiting the hearing the No's never leaves you. I may have peace about it most of the time, but it's still there. You get to a point where you feel like you have been forgotten about, you get to a point where you feel like it will never happen, you get to a point where you start asking the Lord "What am I missing?"
Yet He keeps saying, "Keep waiting, keeping your eyes on Me. I have great plans for your family and a special little boy that was picked to be a Maser."
I just want whatever the Lord wants and so waiting is where I will be, keeping my eyes fixed on Him, longing to hear a Yes! and trusting that His timing is ALWAYS perfect.
Habakkuk 2:3 "For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Waiting with you Melissa.
ReplyDeleteWaiting with you (in spirit...my ole bod just happens to be about 3,000 miles away). With God you can do hard.
ReplyDeleteDear Melissa,
ReplyDeleteI read what Barbara put down and that scripture says it all...I am praying for you sweet momma and can't wait for the day you see his face and know that he was brought into this world to be yours.
Love and you and sooo blessed by your heart!
Habakkuk 2:3 was my verse as we waited for Silas. I still vividly remember the day I found it as I was reading through the bible that year....
ReplyDeleteI like the new living translation.....
This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.
Waiting with you my friend.
Oh, my heart aches for you. I SOOOO understand that feeling of being forgotten, yet trying trying TRYING to cling to God's promises to keep our eyes on Him and trust in His timing! He has placed an infant boy on our heart too, and we have been in this adoption process over a year as well. It hurts. BUT! You are so right in trying to 'rest' in the waiting......afterall, we don't want just any child......we want EXACTLY who He has chosen for us! Bless your heart and your faithfulness. And bless your honesty too. Waiting with you.......and cannot WAIT to celebrate God's chosen boy for you!!!!!! *HUGS*
ReplyDeletep.s....I love Habakkuk 2:3 that has been posted above! This will help carry me through on those rougher days of waiting too! God is good!