Friday, October 7, 2011

It will soon end in JOY!

"Jesus told His disciples that it was God's will for Him to be arrested. He went willingly when the solders came to take Him, but enthusiastic, loving Peter raised his sword and cut off a solders ear. "Put  your sword away," Jesus commands. "Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?" 
I am Peter.
I have my own time frame. When I don't see things happening, I try to make them happen. and Jesus says "Put away your sword, put away your plans. Shall we not do what the Father has asked of us?"
                                                                ~Katie Davis (Kisses from Katie)

This week I have been met with a lot of pain. Physically and emotionally. I hate that it takes that for me to truly seek His face.

I have had to let go of a time frame for getting our boy home. I thought I did, but then I noticed when the weekends would come and I knew that I would defiantly not hear anything , is when I felt like I could breathe. And then on Monday, I would get back to my anxious emotions and all the "what- ifs"   That is not letting go and it is definitely not God honoring.

The kind of person that I was becoming, the kind of mother, wife was not God honoring and it certainly revealed my lack of Faith. How quickly the Faith that helps us to stand firm is the first thing we throw out the window when something happens that we didn't plan for.

I am Peter.

I could not have read that at a better time.

I pray all the time for my hubby's heart. For the Lord to guard it against so many earthly things. I have come to realize that I don't pray those things for myself. I don't ask God to guard my heart from gossip, from complaining, from anger, bitterness, jealousy, from..... me.  I am always up for praying for things that I want or that I think God would want me to say, but don't actually pour my heart out to Him. I don't say "Lord, I don't know how much more I can take. Just when I think you have finally given me peace about Caleb you throw something else more painful in the mix. Lord , I need you to help me seek you. I need you to help me to lay myself before you. I don't always want to and I don't always know how to . But you can show me. You can teach me, You can engrave it on my heart. To seek you first, to cry out to you in frustration, pain, sadness, joyfulness first." Yet, I don't ask.

Try it...

He is asking you to put down your sword.......

He wants to show you that its not about Him and this:

It is all about Jesus and nothing else:

I want to allow Him to do the work in me. I want to allow Him to fill the void of me missing so much of my son. But I can't. He can...

All I have to do is let Him.

To put down my sword!

A dear friend gave me this last week and I have not stopped listening to it. I pray that it brings you comfort in whatever you are struggling with.

Really listen to the lyrics.

                                     Put down your sword, It will soon end in JOY!!!


  1. Praying for you and our family. God is faithful to his promises and loving toward all He has made. I am trusting that for your family tonight. He HAS this. Praying your heart can rest tonight in His love and care. He IS moving on your behalf.

  2. We don't know each other and this is the first time I've come across your blog, but I am so thankful that you wrote about your feelings. We are in the process of adopting a baby boy from Ethiopia and I've been feeling the EXACT same way that you are feeling. I am so thankful that someone else feels the same way that I do. I just realized this week that I need to let God control everything (and stop trying to control this journey myself!). I was feeling that tension every Monday morning and then a sense of relief on Friday evening. Thank you for sharing. I hope your journey continues to go smoothly.

    Kortny Cox