The last couple of weeks have been rough, this week being the worse. Our sweet Caleb has been having nightmares, (trauma/adoption related nightmares) almost every night, which means instead of sleeping he screams and has panic attacks. The only thing that seems to calm him is being in my arms... sounds so sweet doesn't it?? Not when you are exhausted! We have been praying over him and the Lord has been gracious to give me sleep just when it seems like I can't go on anymore.
On top of all that fun we have been from doctor, to doctor, to doctor, to... your getting my point. I don't think people tell you how much you will need to go to the docs. It has been nuts! He has hives and we can't seem to figure out the source. We FINALLY were able to get his blood drawn today. I will spare you the details on how many times we have tried and we finally were able to turn everything in that we needed. Whew!
As my days seem to slip away and my weariness grows, I have been spending a lot of time in prayer. In all honesty it's the only thing that has gotten me through this crazy life of mine. As I have been seeking the Lord on how to really serve Him in my home schooling, He keeps gently whispering the verse that He clearly spoke to me in the beginning of our home school journey. " You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as front lets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Duet. 11:18-19
I can teach the most amazing things, I can be organized to a T , I can be the coolest mom around and my kids could speak many different languages and take apart computers and put them back together, but if I am not teaching them about the Lord all day everyday, then nothing else matters. If I am not using those teachable moments to draw their hearts to Him, then nothing matters. If I am not showing them by my actions that starting our days off praising the Lord for His goodness, then nothing else matters..... I fall so short in this area. I always seem to make everything about me, even teaching my babies.
One thing I am ALWAYS saying when they whine about doing school work ( oh, you mean your kids never do that? Mine don't either) Is Colossians 3:23. Reminding them that their not working for me or for them selves but for the Lord. In obedience to Him, this is what He is asking you to do.... Yes, even school work and you are to work hard, with all your heart for the Lord. He never said perfect, He just said honor Him in your heart even when working..... I need to take my own advice.
Another thing I am always repeating to my kiddos is " You can't be obedient, no matter how hard you try , you can not obey , because we are sinful, BUT you can pray and ask Jesus to help you and He will. "..... I need to take my own advice.
|I can be crafty.....:)|
Praying that we will walk in obedience to our King, even in the small things and that we would set our minds on things above and not here on this earth. That we would work, serve, breathe whole Heartily knowing that we are serving Jesus and not man. Knowing that our value, our treasure, our existence lies in Him. Praying for wisdom and patience in dealing with all that lies ahead. Praying that the words I use (especially when I am at my breaking point) would be words for building up and not tearing down. Praying that the Lord will use even my mess ups to draw theirs hearts (and mine) to Him.