Friday, June 25, 2010

To bring about the obedience of faith

      A sweet friend asked me yesterday how my fund-raising was going and the only answer I could give her was it's staled. It's so hard to think of what to do next, it's so hard to keep asking the same people over and over again to support us, it's hard to keep putting myself out there only to get ignored, and it is a HUGE faith walk that I am obviously failing. As I shared a little bit of how I was feeling my dear (always encouraging) friend reminded me of something her and her family were reading. It was in Judges 6 and 7 the life of Gideon. I actually know that story, I know it pretty well, and now I can truly relate to it. I am Gideon. God has called me to do something (adopt) and to trust in Him to provide and like Gideon I ask for a miracle to prove that this is what He is really saying (oh how dumb I sound) And God stoops down to my level and does it! Our home study got paid for. Now (like that wasn't good enough) I am constantly thinking about what I can do to raise money, what great thing I can come up with. So as I was focusing on what I can do, the donations stopped. As my wonderful friend pointed out, God made it horribly difficult for Gideon to beat the Midinites, He took away a lot of Gideons men so that the people could give God all the glory. You would think by now I would get it through my head that I can not do this and that this is not about me!

      Today as hubby and I were having lunch I was having a pity party. I kept telling him that we needed to really come up with something so people would be willing to help us and he said "let's just keep praying. We need to trust in Him and just remain faithful."  It's so not fair that men don't have emotions like us women. (I'm not alone in this right ladies!?!) Anyways just as I was feeling defeated I got an email on my phone. It was a donation from someone I don't even know and I have no idea how they found my blog. Usually I can trace people down. I couldn't trace this one down. God didn't want me to and He was reminding me that He is still in charge. So you think that I would have gotten  the hint that I just needed to trust, I did, for maybe 30 minutes and the pity party came back.(remember Gideon and I are so much alike :D  ) Tonight as I was reading my bible and trying to give my horrible selfishness and distrust and lack of faith to the Lord I got another email. Guess what it was?, another donation with a beautiful note. (again from someone I did not know and couldn't track down) Praise God!

   Since we officially decided to adopt I have been racking my brain to come up with fund- raising ideas and I kept feeling like the Lord didn't want me to do anything. No ideas were coming, I wanted to sell stuff, but He didn't. Maybe He  is not having me sell tons of things (at this time) because my horrible sinfulness will take over and I would act like I did it all. I'm the one that brought the money in. When in fact God has and will do it all. It's not about me or my friends or the people I keep bugging and praying would support us, it's not even about the donations. It's about our Holy God and His calling on our lives and this child's life and how HE will bring this child home and how HE will work in peoples hearts to give or not to give and how even my lack of faith will not stop Him from doing His will in my life. Praise God!

  If you haven't noticed all ready, I am a planner and seeing all the funds that need to be raised and having to make two trips to Ethiopia has left me feeling overwhelmed. But when I sit back and see what all God has done in such a short time I am truly in awe.

  Oh how I  long for the day that I can just sit at Jesus feet. I love being in the presence of Him,. I love worshiping Him. I hate that I constantly turn my back on Him, I hate that I so badly want to be the hands and feet of Jesus while I am on this earth and yet my selfishness comes creeping in every single time. I'm constantly realizing how depraved I am and my need for a Savior every single day.

   I would like to say that I am truly, truly thankful that God has called me to this very humbling place of fund-raising. I have met some incredible people and I also get to fund-raise with some amazing friends, and like I have said many, many times, it's making me rely on Jesus and expierience Him in a way that I never have before.

And one last thought. When Gideon stopped being scared and He Finally  started to trust God, the bible says he worshiped. (Judges7:15) My prayer is that with my rants and sometimes crazy thoughts that God would be glorified through it all. I know that I have blogged about this before so I am aware that this will be my constant struggle. Thankful that I am aware of it and thankful that when I do fall again (and I will) He will be right there helping me back up.

   "The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness." Exodus 34:6

                                 To God be the glory forever and ever, Amen!


  1. For the King and the King alone. It is a very lonely road but a road SO worth taking. A road not common. It was after our first adoption that I named our new blog because that road was often lonely. The Lord showed me the ugliest parts of my heart during our adoption of Silas - if you want the a good faith walk you've signed up for it. Adoption is one of the most difficult yet rewarding things we've ever experienced. I love that it's a mandate from the Lord because He knew we needed humbling. It'll keep you humble for sure. Blessed to be on this road with you, excited to see the Lord provide.

    His timing is perfect. Always.

    Oh and I heard that Gideon story recently.....;)

  2. I think that the two biggest things that we did was applying for a matching grant through LifeSong and a huge garage sale. The matching grant is great because you write letters to friends and family and every dollar that is donated is matched by lifesong and that really gets people to give! The garage sale is SO MUCH work if you do it right and you want to pull all your hair out at the end but we got 1700 dollars. What we did was put in our church bulletin and emailed EVERY SINGLE PERSON that we knew and asked for donations of their junk. We even offered to come and get it. Of course we had to store all the junk in our house and garage and backyard until the sale and believe me it looked like an episode of lie! I would ask the people to go ahead and put prices on the things before you pick it up because pricing everything was a nightmare. We have a huge front lawn to make the sale possible. Then we advertised the sale everywhere, newspapers, huge signs, craigslist, other online sites. We also made huge signs with Africa and pictures and talked about our adoption and of course had a pail for donations as well. My friends made tons of cookies and donated drinks and we sold those as well. Anyways it was a lot of work but it really got a good chunk of money! And everyone gets rid of their junk so really it is win win!

  3. Ah Melissa...continue to chew on the God of Gideon who is also our God. This God gave what we would think is a very crazy battle plan...first, lose all but 300 men to go against an innumerable army, and then go fight with empty pitchers, torches and trumpets. Only God was going to get the glory out of this victory! But Gideon and God's people were going to have the joy of deliverance as God brought that victory. Sing is warfare language and every step you take in the adoption journey is a form of warfare. Sing and keep your eyes on Jesus who will indeed bring to pass all His glory-exalting plan! And along with your loneliness, He will add joy in ways you've never imagined. It's an amazing journey, and each of ours has been different, but even knowing the rocky road, I would do it all again because Jesus walked it with us. Love you friend...glad the Gideon story encouraged you!

  4. Sold a pair of necklaces on Etsy, by the way!

  5. Hi Melissa, I'm not sure how I came across your blog, you may already know this but Tiffany at A Moment Cherished is also adopting a baby from Ethiopia and they have made t-shirts that are available for other adoptive parents to sell for a fundraiser for their adoption.


  6. Hi Melissa
    my husband and I are just starting our adoption journey and it looks like we may be heading to Ethiopia. I'm looking for other families who are adopting from Ethiopia. I originally thought we would be adopting from China and yesterday found out we won't qualify for China for a couple more years. Our agancy said we do qualify for Ethiopia right now.

    Would love to chat with you privately.

    Thanks so much.